Friday, April 18, 2008

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale Review

All I can say is thank God I didn't have to watch the European release version of this which is a half hour longer, I don't think I would've survived. Uwe "Toilet" Bowl, a.k.a. the modern day Ed Wood, again manages to scrounge together a fairly impressive cast of recognizeable faces (Jason Statham, Burt Reynolds, Ray Liotta, Leelee Sobieski, Matthew Lillard, Ron Perlman, John Rhys-Davies, Kristanna Loken and Claire Forlani) and an entirely undeserved budget ($60 million) and constructs a total piece of junk. Jason Statham, John Rhys-Davies and Ron Perlman are the only actors who don't seem to be doing the project entirely for a paycheck. Statham brings his usual soft-spoken tough guy performance as the farmer dragged into a grand struggle, who is named (I wish I were making this up) Farmer. Rhys-Davies has such dignity in his delivery that it makes his work tolerable. Ray Liotta is so embarassingly hammy that I don't even know how to react to his performance. Matthew Lillard gives one of the worst performances I have ever seen. Burt Reynolds seems to be happy to collect his paycheck. Really the only thing I can give this credit for is some wonderful filming of the British Columbia forests in establishing shots. Unsurprisingly every other aspect of the film, from the writing to the music to the editing, is absolutely horrific. Uwe Boll once announced that if one million people sign a petition he'll retire from directing forever...please google it and sign on.

Overall Score: 2/10

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