Smart People Review

It sure isn't as indie as it thinks it is, but even still Smart People has a few laughs and is saved by a really tremendous performance from Thomas Haden Church. Dealing with the pitch that smart people are inherently anti-social and elitist, Quaid really seems to try his best to make his far too quirky misanthrope professor character work. Buried beneath a goofy beard that actually covers up some of his performance, Quaid gets kind of lost here. Sarah Jessica Parker is, at best, mediocre as his love interest; her character is both cliched and underwritten and Parker does nothing in my eyes to improve it. Ellen Page, basically playing a right-wing neocon Juno, is amusing enough but, frankly, we've seen this performance better elsewhere. Thomas Haden Church is the real heart of the movie. His scenes bring life and fun to the otherwise pretentious and stuffy proceedings. Given all the best lines here, I say with some certainty that if the film had focused on Church's not-quite-as-smart adopted brother to Dennis Quaid the whole film would have been far more effective. Despite Church's best efforts everything here feels cliched and by-the-numbers (about as un-indie and as Hollywood romantic comedy as you can get)... tolerable enough but not worth recommending.

Overall Score: 5/10

Day of the Dead (2008) Review

This was one of those movies that's so bad it's almost enjoyable. Filled to the brim with recognizeable but mediocre actors, Day of the Dead is, in name at least, a remake of the George A. Romero classic. In name at least I believe it's supposed to be a sequel to Zack Snyder's FAR superior Dawn of the Dead remake (as was in the case in Romero's series). Miner elects to go with a hybrid zombie: he uses the running zombies from 28 Days Later, but adds in a bit more intelligence and problem-solving skills (ala Land of the Dead), the ability to jump tremendous distances (ala I Am Legend) and to climb on walls (I guess like The Exorcist rerelease); the lack of hard and fast 'zombie rules' here is somewhat frustrating. Nick Cannon is not a good actor, but some of his deliveries are kind of amusing in a so bad it's good sort of way. Mena Suvari is miscast as a hard boiled soldier (as an aside why does the film make a big deal about why she carries an unloaded gun and her drama with her brother throughout the early going and neither is ever resolved?). Ving Rhames has far too small a role, really a glorified cameo, to really do much with it; he was put to far better use in Snyder's Dawn of the Dead (he plays a different character here). The best performances are probably from the typical 'escaping from the zombie young couple,' Michael Welch and AnnaLynne McCord, who at least seem to be trying to put some emotion and effort into their performances (McCord more effectively). Oh well, what else should I expect from a film the studio decided wasn't worth releasing in theaters? Not the worst zombie movie ever made but not even remotely in the class of Snyder's Dawn or the 28 Days/Weeks movies as recent zombie flicks go.

Overall Score: 3/10

Street Kings Review

Well this movie is sort of a mess but I still found it pretty amusing. While the story is both cliched and predictable, and the screenplay is horrific, some decent performances and some nice energy make this a dumb-fun way to spend two hours. To Street King's credit it casts its lead actor very much against type, Keanu Reeves as a hard-boiled loose cannon cop might seem difficult to imagine after most of his other cinematic work but I found him to be surprisingly effective here. The other actors, though they are composed by a pretty large collection of recognizeable faces, are generally terribly miscast or are playing the same sort of roles they always play. Hugh Laurie is playing House as a narc cop, Forest Whitaker is playing Idi Amin as a cop, etc. The one performance that really stood out to me, and furthers my belief that he is a surprisingly solid actor, is Chris Evans'. Evans, who gave a superb turn in last year's Sunshine and has given amusing, if uninspired, performances in the Fantastic Four movies and The Nanny Diaries, shines here. His clean cop looking to fit into a dark dirty world with Reeves is surprisingly believable and affecting, even if his role is far too small. I actually found Evans to be more effective here than Ethan Hawke was in the similar role in Training Day. As an aside the ending is preposterous and foolish. Anyone who wants to see this sort of dirty cop story done right should head back to season one of The Shield and start catching up (the last season airs in the fall). But for an amusing enough film experience that will do nothing for you intellectually Street Kings is fine.

Overall Score: 5/10

2007 Movie Review List

2007 Movies:
11th Hour, The: 4/10
1408: 6/10
28 Weeks Later: 7/10
30 Days of Night: 5/10
300: 7/10
3:10 to Yuma: 10/10
Across the Universe: 7/10
Aliens vs. Predator - Requiem: 5/10
Alpha Dog: 3/10
Amazing Grace: 7/10
American Gangster: 8/10
American Pastime: 6/10
American Pie Presents: Beta House: 5/10
Arctic Tale: 4/10
Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, The: 6/10
Astronaut Farmer, The: 6/10
Atonement: 9/10
Awake: 3/10
Away from Her: 8/10
Babylon 5: The Lost Tales - Voices in the Dark: 3/10
Battlestar Galactica: Razor: 7/10
Because I Said So: 4/10
Bee Movie: 4/10
Before the Devil Knows You're Dead: 6/10
Beowulf: 8/10
Black Book: 6/10
Black Sheep: 5/10
Black Snake Moan: 4/10
Blades of Glory: 7/10
Blood and Chocolate: 4/10
Bobby Z: 3/10
Bourne Ultimatum, The: 8/10
Brave One, The: 6/10
Breach: 8/10
Breed, The: 5/10
Bridge to Terabithia: 7/10
Bucket List, The: 5/10
Bug: 2/10
Captivity: 2/10
Catch and Release: 3/10
Charlie Wilson's War: 6/10
Closure: 3/10
Condemned, The: 4/10
Contractor, The: 2/10
Cougar Club: 3/10
Dan in Real Life: 7/10
Darjeeling Limited, The: 7/10
Days of Glory: 5/10
Dead Silence: 3/10
Death at a Funeral: 7/10
Death Sentence: 4/10
Devil Came on Horseback, The: 8/10
Disturbia: 7/10
Diving Bell and the Butterfly, The: 7/10
DOA: Dead or Alive: 3/10
Doctor Strange: 7/10
Dragon Wars: D-War: 2/10
Eastern Promises: 8/10
Elizabeth: The Golden Age: 4/10
Enchanted: 8/10
Epic Movie: 1/10
Evan Almighty: 4/10
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer: 7/10
Feast of Love: 3/10
Fido: 6/10
Final Season, The: 6/10
Flying Scotsman, The: 6/10
Fracture: 7/10
Fred Claus: 6/10
Freedom Writers: 6/10
Futurama: Bender's Big Score: 7/10
Game Plan, The: 5/10
Georgia Rule: 2/10
Ghost Rider: 6/10
Golden Compass, The: 5/10
Gone Baby Gone: 10/10
Good Luck Chuck: 4/10
Grace is Gone: 6/10
Gracie: 4/10
Gray Matters: 2/10
Great Debaters, The: 7/10
Grindhouse: 7/10
Hairspray: 6/10
Halloween: 2/10
Hannah Takes the Stairs: 6/10
Hannibal Rising: 3/10
Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix: 7/10
Heartbreak Kid, The: 5/10
Hills Have Eyes 2, The: 2/10
Hitcher, The: 5/10
Hitman: 4/10
Hoax, The: 7/10
Host, The: 4/10
Hostel Part II: 6/10
Hot Fuzz: 8/10
Hot Rod: 4/10
Hunting Party, The: 7/10
I Am Legend: 6/10
I Know Who Killed Me: 1/10
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry: 5/10
I'm Reed Fish: 4/10
In the Land of Women: 4/10
In the Shadow of the Moon: 9/10
In the Valley of Elah: 7/10
Into the Wild: 9/10
Invasion, The: 4/10
Invincible Iron Man, The: 6/10
Invisible, The: 4/10
Jackass 2.5: 3/10
Juno: 9/10
Kickin' It Old Skool: 2/10
King of Kong, The: A Fistful of Quarters: 8/10
Kingdom, The: 7/10
Kite Runner, The: 6/10
Knocked Up: 7/10
La Vie en Rose: 4/10
Lars and the Real Girl: 8/10
Last Legion, The: 4/10
License to Wed: 5/10
Lions for Lambs: 7/10
Live Free or Die Hard: 8/10
Lives of Others, The: 9/10
Lookout, The: 5/10
Lucky You: 4/10
Lust, Caution: 5/10
Margot at the Wedding: 4/10
Martian Child: 4/10
Meet the Robinsons: 6/10
Messengers, The: 4/10
Michael Clayton: 9/10
Mighty Heart, A: 6/10
Mist, The: 7/10
Mr. Brooks: 7/10
Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium: 5/10
Mr. Woodcock: 3/10
Music and Lyrics: 5/10
Namesake, The: 5/10
Nanny Diaries, The: 3/10
National Tresure: Book of Secrets: 7/10
Next: 3/10
No Country for Old Men: 10/10
No End in Sight: 8/10
No Reservations: 5/10
Norbit: 1/10
Number 23, The: 2.3/10
Ocean's Thirteen: 7/10
Once: 10/10
Open Water 2: Adrift: 3/10
Orphanage, The: 8/10
Paris, Je T'aime: 5/10
Pathfinder: 5/10
Perfect Stranger: 2/10
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End: 7/10
Premonition: 4/10
Pride: 4/10
Primeval: 4/10
Ratatouille: 8/10
Reaping, The: 3/10
Reign Over Me: 6/10
Rendition: 5/10
Rescue Dawn: 8/10
Reservation Road: 7/10
Resident Evil: Extinction: 5/10
Rocket Science: 8/10
Rush Hour 3: 5/10
Savages, The: 7/10
Saw IV: 5/10
Seraphim Falls: 6/10
Shoot 'Em Up: 7/10
Shooter: 6/10
Shrek the Third: 5/10
Sicko: 7/10
Simpsons Movie, The: 7/10
Smokin' Aces: 5/10
Southland Tales: 3/10
Spider-Man 3: 6/10
Stardust: 8/10
Starter for 10: 5/10
Stomp the Yard: 2/10
Sunshine: 7/10
Superbad: 8/10
Superman: Doomsday: 5/10
Surf's Up: 7/10
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street: 8/10
Sydney White: 4/10
Talk to Me: 6/10
Ten, The: 3/10
There Will Be Blood: 8/10
Thr3e: 3/10
TMNT: 6/10
Transformers: 8/10
TV Set, The: 7/10
Vacancy: 6/10
Waitress: 6/10
Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story: 6/10
War: 3/10
We Own the Night: 6/10
Wild Hogs: 4/10
Wind That Shakes the Barley, The: 2/10
Year of the Dog: 2/10
Zodiac: 9/10

Current Top 10 for 2007
10. In the Shadow of the Moon
9. Michael Clayton
8. Into the Wild
7. Lives of Others, The
6. Juno
5. Atonement
4. 3:10 to Yuma
3. No Country for Old Men
2. Gone Baby Gone
1. Once

Shine a Light Review

It's tough to think of Martin Scorsese films without his use of rock music and no band is more a part of this phenomenon than The Rolling Stones. From "Jumpin Jack Flash" in Mean Streets to "Gimme Shelter" in The Departed a link has formed between the two so it's only appropriate that Scorsese here crafts the definitive Stones concert movie. One of the best things Scorsese does here is to collect an all-star assortment of ten Academy Award nominated/winning cinematographers to run the cameras throughout the Beacon; they manage to capture the entire concert with a cinematic flair and verve and an immediacy so often lacking in concert films. Of note also is Scorsese's inclusion of various stock interview and newsreel footage of the bandmates from the 60s and 70s; often serving as transitions between songs I found them to be both insightful and amusing. Also of special note are the three cameos during the concert, Christina Aguilera, Jack White (of The White Stripes) and Buddy Guy. Each of these performances lends a new excitement and life to the show; especially the excitement on White's face to be playing with the Stones is infectious. If you have even a passing interest in The Stones or in Martin Scorsese you owe it to yourself to try to see this in IMAX while you have the chance. And one last thing, I challenge you to tell me that young Charlie Watts and No Country for Old Men villain Anton Chigurh weren't seperated at birth...they're a splitting image.

Overall Score: 8/10

The Ruins Review

I guess the most merciful thing about this was that it was at least a somewhat different take on the typical upper-middle-class tourists exposed to depraved horrors genre. I was somewhat drawn to this because of a collection of surprisingly decent actors, considering the premise. Jena Malone, so enjoyable in Saved!, gives a pretty mediocre performance here but I think it's more due to an underdeveloped character than her failures as an actress. Shawn Ashmore, of X-Men, plays a surprisingly different character here and is somewhat believable in the role. Joe Anderson, who I thought was the most interesting and most effective part of last year's sloppy Across the Universe, is forced to don a silly German accent but otherwise maintains his skill at effective facial acting. The story here, which ends up dealing with creature horror instead of the overabundant (and suggested by the film's trailer) torture porn genre, is at least somewhat interesting and different from the norm of modern horror. Alas the movie is derailed by a poor screenplay, mediocre special effects, a premise that, while somewhat original, is still flawed and plot-hole ridden and poor supporting performances. I think I wish this were more successful at the box office if for no other reason than maybe it would inspire studios to make something other than torture porn or Asian horror remakes.

Overall Score: 4/10

Leatherheads Review

Not offensively bad or anything, just not very good. All three leads seem to really be trying to make the movie work as well as possible, but there are some deep problems here. The first 60-70 minutes are FAR more enjoyable as the film focuses in on the roughian early years of professional football, nicely juxtaposed with big business college ball, and Clooney's character's efforts to legitimize the sport (economically) by bringing in one of the collegiate game's biggest stars. The film takes a turn for the worse in the later acts when it turns its focus to the legitimacy of Krasinski's war-hero background and the whole movie really suffers for it. I think one of the problems here is that Krasinski is just too likeable an actor for his character here; it's tough to feel fired up for the final showdown between Clooney and Krasinski because of it. I mean, in effect, we have a guy who falsified his war stories and abandons his team to follow the money but Krasinski makes him so likeable that we almost don't care about those things and the climax really suffers for it. George Clooney should've been born 60 years earlier, this film is a pure homage to 40s screwball comedies and he fits the bill perfectly. I was really disappointed in this one but it least it gave me one of the most enjoyable scenes of the year: an inspired and hilarious street fight between the two leads.

Overall Score: 5/10

Justice League: The New Frontier Review

What a great way to craft a Justice League story: turn the clock back to the 1950s and the Golden Age of comics but inbue a bit of a modern sensibility to the characterizations. The writing is surprisingly good with a bunch of humerous quips and '50s in-jokes (though I admit the heroic speeches are groan inducing). With the exception of Jeremy Sisto's far too gruff Batman the voicework is all very strong, especially David Boreanaz. I appreciated the film's focus on a lesser known (to me) character: The Green Lantern - rather than the typical Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash. I didn't quite 'get' the villain, it seemed like a poor man's version of the villain in last year's Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer and didn't really seem like much of an actual threat. Regardless, this premise is a nice way to breathe some new life into these characters and was an enjoyable enough experience.

Overall Score: 6/10

Stop-Loss Review

Subtlety is not something found in abundance in Kimberly Peirce's Stop-Loss. For some reason it seems statistically unlikely to me that a squad in Iraq, made up of 10 guys, from which only four survive (the 4 survivors all hailing from the same Texas town): one maimed to the point of looking like the villain in Ridley Scott's Hannibal and the other three emotionally destroyed by the war and suffering from heavy levels of PTSD. Phillippe, an actor I really liked in Flags of Our Fathers and Breach , hits all the notes he's supposed to hear but something about his performance rang false to me. I can't quite put a finger on why exactly but I just couldn't buy a number of moments in the film. Channing Tatum, who starred in Step-Up, is not a good actor and doesn't deserve his role. Abbie Cornish is bland at best. Two performances stood out, Victor Rasuk, who takes center stage in the films most affecting and effective scene, when Phillippe visits his aforementioned maimed comrade in the military hospital. His performance is effective and quite moving. Note also goes to Joseph Gordon-Levitt who has come a hell of a long way since 3rd Rock from the Sun and gives the most believable performance of the shell shocked vets. The ending didn't work for me at all to boot. To be honest, I'm not sure what's wrong with these new Iraq/Middle East movies but I don't blame audiences for staying away. The films all tend far more towards preaching and melodrama than is necessary, it occurs to me that some distance, however slight, might be necessary to make more effective films on this stage of American history.

Overall Score: 4/10

Hot Rod Review

Pretty much the offspring of Napoleon Dynamite and one of those Will Ferrell man-child sports movies. The early goings are pretty God-awful but a number of funny scenes and nifty little turns from decent character actors make it a tolerable hour and a half. To be honest, I don't really see much in Andy Samberg here. But the supporting performers are of note. Ian McShane steals every scene he's in as Rod's evil-ish step-father and gets all the best lines. Isla Fisher is cute and seems to be trying but doesn't get good lines with which to work. Will Arnett has a hilarious little cameo as Fisher's evil boyfriend, and though he's played the basic role before he's still pretty damn funny. And, finally, Bill Hader, amusing enough in Superbad and quite funny in the upcoming Forgetting Sarah Marshall, who really shows what the Apatow crew sees in him here. The scenes involving Rod and his crew were made tolerable thanks to Hader's dead-pan delivery. To be honest, I wanted to quit on this in the first twenty minutes but it became surprisingly tolerable as it progressed to the point of being mildly funny, despite shameless ripping off a number of (better) comedies.

Overall Score: 4/10

Run Fatboy Run Review

To be honest I think Simon Pegg has become one of my absolute favorite comedians and I've seen only three of his movies now. For my money Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz both rank as two of the funniest movies of the past decade and Pegg's work here, though not as funny, is certainly worthy of his prior accomplishments. The story here is cliched and kind of silly but is, mercifully, not played as ridiculously and ham-fistedly as it could've been (though I feel a need to point out that our hero runs roughly a 4:30 first mile which would never ever ever be possible). Thandie Newton gives a decent enough supporting role but is really not given too much material to work with. Hank Azaria seems to be having a really good time playing the heavy and gives a surprisingly restrained performance in what could've easily become a trite, contrived villain role. Look, a movie called Run Fatboy Run is clearly not out to collect many Academy Awards but this is a really enjoyable mix of British comedy and American romantic comedy and I recommend it.

Overall Score: 7/10

21 Review

I'm frustrated because this is just another example of studios taking a perfectly interesting true story and giving it the "Hollywood treatment" and turning the story into a cliche mess. Problems abound here: chief among them might be a brutal screenplay. Also up there are the completely unrestrained performances of Laurence Fishburne and Kevin Spacey who both resort to the worst, most scenery chewing, places in their acting repertoire. I didn't realize Lex Luthor works at MIT and Morpheus is a casino pit boss. It does manage to capture the 'cool' of Vegas nicely, but the real most effective aspect of the film is the strong performance from Jim Sturgess in the lead. Sturgess, who was quite good as well in last year's flawed Across the Universe, does his best to work through some brutal lines and, I think, actually manages to bring something to a heavily cliched character. It's enjoyable enough, just nothing special.

Overall Score: 5/10

Funny Games Review

This movie is horribly difficult for me to review. On the one hand the film is really tremendously well acted. Naomi Watts, though she may play the crying girl role a bit too often, is truly one of the best actresses working today. She manages to bring something real to a character that is not dissimilar from the crap you see in something like Hostel. Tim Roth and Devon Gearhart fill out the family nicely. Michael Pitt is unbelievably creepy as the main tormentor; though I found his co-tormentor, Brady Corbet, gave something of a lacking performance. The film is well lensed, well constructed and wonderfully framed.
The big problem is Haneke's method of delivering his message - that there is something perverse and wrong in the enjoyment of violence in films - is unbelievably heavy handed. Haneke has all the subtlety of Michael Bay when he has his tormentor's break the fourth wall and talk to the audience about their torture and the progression of the story. That doesn't even mention the ridiculous moment when one of the villains pulls a Click by rewinding with a remote control to undo a mistake in execution of the plan. We get it, we're a perverse society for embracing violent films, but, perhaps, we could have some sort of subtle delivery of that message? Mr. Haneke, this isn't the art you think it is and the hubris of making a shot-by-shot remake of your own film from a decade ago makes me ill.

Overall Score: 4/10

Doomsday Review

While I found Doomsday's because of competitor Never Back Down to be a loving homage and take on the cliche sports genre I found Doomsday to be much more of a cheap rip off better material. While I grant it's a fine line that Doomsday crosses no part of it ever feels like more than just a relensing of better movies with worse actors. Scenes are torn liberally from films like (among many others) Escape from New York, 28 Days Later, Mad Max, Aliens, Road Warrior and Lord of the Rings each to far less effect than the first times. I'm surprised at how this turned out as I think Marshall's own The Descent is one of, if not, the best horror film of the past decade. For every creative and well played decision in The Descent, he has made a poor choice in design and concept in Doomsday. The acting is uniformly mediocre to awful. Alexander Siddig, an actor who made small roles memorable in Kingdom of Heaven and Syriana, gives a career worse performance, as does Malcolm McDowell (who is in my running for worst performance of the year). Rhona Mitra seems to be trying but she lacks the action presense of Kate Beckinsale's Underworld character who she seems to be modeled after, down to the tight leather outfit (let alone great action heroines like Linda Hamilton in T2 or Sigourney Weaver in the Alien series). To be honest this was so mediocre and inept at times that I'm a bit worried The Descent was a happy accident in Marshall's career. While it has some enjoyable and exciting (if poorly editied) action scenes I really can't recommend this at all.

Overall Score: 3/10

Never Back Down Review

Steal liberally from as many cliche sports and fight movies from the 80s and early 90s as possible, add in a dash of Fight Club and a hint of The O.C. and, presto!, 106 minutes later you have Never Back Down. It's difficult for me to give this movie a serious review because objectively it isn't very good but I'll be damned if I didn't have a great time at it. The performances are surprisingly earnest and tolerable, which isn't to say they're good but they're probably better than the material deserves. Djimon Hounsou, a great actor who is far too frequently in bad movies, gives a pretty nice Mr. Miyagi impersonation here. Sean Faris plays the same sort of troubled wrong side of the tracks kid with a heart of gold dragged into an upper class society not dissimilar from the lead character, Ryan Atwood, on The O.C. Cam Gigandet, once a villain on The O.C., plays an amusingly hammy heavy here. I think I found this film most amusing because it was so unabashed in it's dedication to adapting the best moments of so many fun cliche films (it's really more of a homage than anything else). This film features the karate move our hero struggles with at first returns in the climax (I'll let you guess if it's successful or not), Mr. Miyagi (or whatever Djimon's character is named) spouts pearls of wisdom throughout and, possibly most amusing of all, are the FOUR music video style training montages (all of which have a nice Rocky feel to them). Turn off your brain, see this and have a good time.

Overall Score: 7/10

Drillbit Taylor Review

Superbad Jr anyone? Basically replicating the Superbad premise of the awkward kid and the fat kid who are fodder for bullies (complete with a supernerd little buddy) and attemting to fit into their high school, Drillbit Taylor adds the wrinkle of them hiring a bodyguard to protect them from bullies. While the film's screenplay (in part from Seth Rogan) has some really funny moments, too much of the premise falls horribly flat. The bullies are so cruel and violent (including legitimately trying to run over our heroes) that it really took me out the film. Further Wilson's homeless buddies are unfunny and, frankly, kind of uncomfortable to watch. Both lead kids, Alex Frost and Josh Peck, are surprisingly tolerable. Owen Wilson does his usual routine, though some of his interactions with the kids are pretty funny. Leslie Mann gives the best performance here, but alas her role is too small. It's got a few laughs, but it's just not very good.

Overall Score: 4/10

Married Life Review

It just really didn't work well for me but I have trouble putting a finger on why precisely. The performances are all strong, especially Pierce Brosnan who has made a wonderful career of playing on his Bond persona. Has there ever been a time in his life when he hasn't been the coolest person in the room? The post-war style really suits him. I found that Sachs' film works neither as a sly dark comedy on the era nor as a darker commentary piece (such as the far superior Far from Heaven). The film also leaves the viewer with an unbearable sense of malaise as the boring too clean ending seems somewhat nonsensical after all that had preceeded it. Well acted and a strong concept, Married Life is a missed opportunity.

Overall Score: 5/10

The Bank Job Review

I'm kind of a sucker for a heist movie so I wasn't too surprised I enjoyed this one. Donaldson is an adequate director (Thirteen Days is a good movie) but he really struggles to get the story moving in the first twenty or so chaotic minutes. After the story calms down a bit and strands start to come together the film grows exponentially more compelling. Jason Statham, more action star than actor so far in his career, is actually pretty decent here. His love triangle scenes show a surprising skill at acting that you'd never have known if you've only seen his action movies (considering his next two projects are Transporter 3 and Crank 2 I'm not sure he knows either). Saffron Burrows is fine if unspectacular in the manipulative woman with a hidden agenda role. Stephen Campbell Moore and Daniel Mays play two of Statham's chums along for the heist and give nice, often funny performance. I give Donaldson credit, much of the humor here is really effective and doesn't feel quite as forced as the genre often lends itself to. The only other real problem with the movie is that it just feels very long, aside from the miserable first twenty minutes, the film just seems to drag, never so noticeably that you're bored, just simply that the whole thing feels like a bit of an ordeal. Strongly recommend for fans of heist movies and cautiously recommended for others.

Overall Score: 7/10

10,000 B.C. Review

Well this was really remarkably awful. I mean I can barely put in to words how ridiculously stupid the plot and screenplay are. It might be the worst screenplay ever put to film. It rips elements and even scenes right out of numerous other films (Lord of the Rings, 300, Apocalypto) but it most closely mimics the plot of Roland Emmerich's own (far superior) Stargate. I'm not even going to try to touch on all of the ridiculous historical inaccuracies but I am curious as to when ostriches and velociraptors mated and created the villainous jungle birds seen here. Based on this and When a Stranger Calls Camilla Belle should thank her lucky stars that she's a beautiful woman...because she is an absolutely terrible actress. I had never heard of Steven Strait before this and I feel no urge to see any more of his work. Cliff Curtis, who has a given a number of decent performances in his career most notably in Three Kings and in Sunshine, at least seems to be trying to do something with the material. I just have trouble understanding how someone couldn't have tapped Roland Emmerich on the shoulder throughout this whole process and asked 'what the hell are you doing?' This is the worst 'event movie' that I can remember. It gets a two of ten instead of a one because the action scenes are pretty well done and because the cinematography is, at times, gorgeous. It also has one of the dumbest endings in cinema history. Don't see this by choice and if you have to then see it drunk.

Overall Score: 2/10

Captivity Review

So I'm starting to think there is something wrong with me because I've seen far too many of these 'torture porn' movies over the past few years. I almost never enjoy them yet for some reason I end up seeing them time and time again. This one is a particularly revolting example of the genre. Some of the grotesque highlights include Cuthbert being forced to kill her pet dog (which of course doesn't merely die, it explodes from the force of a point blank range shotgun blast) and being forced to drink a cannibal cocktail of eyeballs, ears and other body parts. Additionally there is some pretty perverse sexual manipulation here. Seriously, I wish I were kidding. I should have turned it off at any of these points (or maybe I shouldn't have ever started) and I feel rather dirty that I actually made it through to the end of this movie. Suffice to say the acting is terrible. Cuthbert is an awful actress but somehow Daniel Gillies is so awful that he makes her look like Kate Winslet. It gets a 2 out of 10 because I found myself rather satisfied when Cuthbert manages to escape and kill her captors. How the hell did this come from the guy who made The Mission with De Niro?

Overall Score: 2/10